Not Defective
by HoneyStreak45
Summary: A defective turret named DT is chosen to go on a journey by a mysterious other, filled with adventure and hilarious (but kind of old) gags. His journey includes visiting another's memories, trust, and...moving turrets? What am I doing? (This story includes no love whatsoever)
1. The Journey Begins!

"_Hello…_"

"What? Where are you!? Show yourself, I am _prepared_, ya know!"

"Promise me something…"

"Wh-Oh! You're one of those squeaky-voiced turrets! What do you want me to promise?"

"Something will happen, something only _you_ can handle…You are chosen by me…"

"Me? But, I'm defective. I can't do _crap!_"

"You have to repeat these exact words. You will know when to say them…"

And so, the mystery turret said the words that DT would repeat in the future…whenever that would be, anyways. They were completely out of his type of speech, so serious and incredibly violent. DT's type of speech was filled with sarcasm with a touch of comedy. Plus, he had never dared to say the words "death", "incinerator", or even saying "_her_"…But, not once did he interrupt this stranger, even though he kind of wanted to.

"…Remember these words, there will be a certain man you need to get in touch with to start your journey. Now, _go!_ The incinerator is up ahead, and you will be sent into it unless you jump away at the correct time. When you feel a burning heat behind you, jump backwards and _run!_"

DT crossed where his heart would be if he had one with his cold, metallic claw, and was sent away from…whoever that was he was talking to. He heard voices up ahead, a man who seemed to only know the words "template" and "response" and a few squeaky-voices, sort of like the one he encountered not long ago, but more energetic by the tiniest bit. He also heard a few voices that sounded like him, which made him feel less special. This feeling of being "un-special" didn't seem as bad as you'd think, because he was very much used to this. He _knew_ he was defective, but he still wanted to live…there had to be more out there, right?

It was finally his turn to go. He heard the others go, and it seemed the squeaky turrets got to pass. Yes, he still remembered what the mystery turret said, but just in case…

"Template?" the man said.

The apparent template responded, "Hello?"

"Response"

DT hesitated for a split second and replied in a high-pitched voice, "Hello. _Hello!_ Hell-" His sight flickered for a moment, fizzling like a broken computer monitor and saw a screen that flashed "DEFECTIVE". He had failed the test…

"_FINE!_ LOOK OUT EVERYBODY. HERE COMES DT." And he back-flipped off the platform he was standing on. He hit the floor (surprisingly on his claws and not his head), and heard a faint British voice say, "Whoa…you'd think the crap turrets would be so defective they wouldn't figure out they failed until they were thrown away! Ha ha…"

Ouch. Right in the would-be heart.

Well, now he had to…run. Yeah, that seemed about right, so he leaped away as fast as he could on his skinny, slightly broken legs to wherever this crazy adventure would take him next. He stopped all of a sudden, because he heard something crack beneath him. DT, of course, was blind so he couldn't tell what was making that noise or if it would give out and kill him. He heard more cracking noises, and did the one thing he's been doing for the past 2 minutes. He ran like the frickin' wind…WHICH WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA, DT HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A—

[Please Stand By…]

He ran like the frickin' wind. This was a terrible mistake, because whatever was supporting him before finally gave out beneath him.

"NO! I. CAN'T. NO!" DT screamed, and then some gibberish that nobody could understand. He fell for what seemed like forever…but there was a problem. There was no sound of wind whipping past him, maybe he had gone deaf? Wait…he wasn't falling anymore. Just a cool breeze, and then black.


	2. The Dream

[Core Corruption: 35%]

[Sleep Mode: ON]

DT woke up to the clanking of metal and faint mumbling. The floor he was standing on was smooth, which was odd to him considering he had been leaping across cracked, plant infested tiles ever since he was built. The mumbling he was hearing was a little louder now, and it sounded pretty close. He slowly inched closer to the voices, and then heard the sharp slam of a locker. DT was startled by this, and jumped what felt like 10 feet in the air. Well, that ruined him from going any closer, so he stayed where he was and listened closely. Then he heard two voices…

"We put cameras in the cameras. He'll never expect a thing."

"Genius!"

Then DT heard some shuffling and some ripping noises, kind of like how he heard how children tear the wrapping off of a present they've received. Soon after, he heard more shuffling and that sharp slam again. This, once again, startled DT, so he decided to leave…wherever he was right now. He turned around and started leaping across this amazing tiled floor, but then he heard something in his head. It whispered to him, "The cube root of 2x is irrational if x is irrational."

DT had no idea what that meant, but he had seen in movies—wait, no—HEARD in movies that if you hear a voice in your head and you have no idea what it is, it either means it's something important that you'll need in the future at some super epic moment, or it means you're pretty damn crazy…

In the few seconds the cold AI was thinking, the world around him started shattering, falling into tiny shards of what he thought was glass from the hints he's been getting from the other cores around the facility. The floor gave out from underneath him and, after some banging into walls, he hit something that felt like the tiles back at Aperture, but there was something off about it...and something familiar.

He dug his claw into the ground and made a small hole in the ground, and something seeped into the crack. It felt wet and sticky. Still, he couldn't be sure, so he shoved his claw in front of him, and it hit something…a wall? It had cracks and the same sticky stuff that he found on the ground.

"Oh, God…Oh, God, please no…" DT stepped into more sticky liquid

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE BACK HERE! SOMEBODY HELP!" DT screamed. It only echoed off the blood-stained walls, which reminded him there was nobody to turn to for help here. DT shook wildly…for a few, awful reasons. Fear. Confusion. And one last thing…it wasn't simulated. Pain. Striking pain that only he could understand alone…

[Sleep Mode: OFF]


	3. The Man or The Memory

DT awoke to an annoying clanging, and was glad to find he was standing on the good ol' floors of Aperture Science…The plant infested ones, ya know? His target laser was weaving off at odd angles instead of the usual "point directly below the target because your blind, bro" angle, which annoyed him because now if he wanted to protect himself somehow, he couldn't.

He heard a voice nearby, speaking in an awkward, almost unintelligible tone. DT tried to say something, but all that came out was a weird, "Uhhngh…," sounding corrupted and distorted, which kind of scared him into talking again.

He slowly stood up—not easy considering he had 3 legs, mind you—and felt a soft hand reach out and gently stroke his chassis. He started shivering a bit, not knowing if this guy could harm him in anyway…but, would someone bad be so gentle to him? DT still wanted to act brave, so he narrowed his optical plates, to give this guy an impression of how he felt…Stroking his frame, who did this guy think he was?

The mysterious man lifted his hand away from him and retorted, "You know, you don't scare me. You can't do anything but give me smart-talk, and it doesn't seem like you can do that right now, either."

DT kept his plates narrowed and turned away from whoever this man was. He heard the man try to get close to him again, so he let out a growl, which too sounded warped. It seemed to work, because he heard the footsteps back away and stay a good distance from him.

"I'm only trying to help you," empathized the man, "You don't seem to be in the greatest shape, right now." The mysterious other then turned DT right back around, probably to face him, and seemed to be trying to inspect everything about DT's substructure and inner coding. DT soon felt a sharp burn and shrieked. The man quickly pulled his hand back and exclaimed, "OH! THAT IS NOT RIGHT…Don't make any sudden movements! I'll be right back!"

He heard some footsteps dash away, and then some clanging noises. DT would usually be curious about what he was doing, but now the burning was more severe, and he didn't want to blow up like the _other _defective turrets did. The man came back and skillfully bolted something into his coding. Then, out of _pretty much nowhere_, he felt a blast of cool foam slap against him. He toppled over backwards, sliding almost all the way across the room and during the whole way, screaming.

"AHHHHHH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?" DT yelped. The burning had stopped, but now he was wet and the foam could seep into his coding and corrupt him even more any time, now. The man rushed over and brought DT back to his feet—err—_claws_, and plugged him into something.

DT was uncomfortable with the wire stuck in him, so he started pulling impatiently on it. DT felt something smack his claw away from it, and started pulling harshly on it. It felt like it was going to come off if this kept up, so he did a front-flip, pulling his claw lose and struck some kind of karate pose, ready for a fight if he had to. This startled the man, and he asked, "…How long have you known how to do that?"

DT was confused, "Do what?"

"Do acrobatics like that."

DT dropped the karate pose and considered this, "I've known how to do these neat things for a while…Maybe 4 months? 5? Hard to say."

"Where did you learn?" challenged the man.

"I—"

"_The whole room is on fire! Everybody get out of here!_

"_There's no exit, DT. How are we supposed to escape?!"_

_DT darted around, feeling across the cracked, concrete walls for a secret button or a lever. He felt something smooth, pushed against it and he felt a harsh wind streak past him._

"_I think I found the exit! Everybody follow my voice and head for…a light I suppose."_

_Everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs, so they hadn't heard him. He started leaping across the room to round up the less experienced of the humans and AIs, and started leading them towards the area where wind was coming from. "Okay, guys. Just keep running toward the source of the wind and I'll get the adults and—"_

_A ticking noise. There was a timer for the exit._

"_Oh no. ALRIGHT GUYS, _RUN_ TO THE EXIT!"_

_A terrible cracking sound was emitted from above DT, and a familiar voice came on._

"_You must really be defective if you want so badly to save all these worthless people. That's okay, because I have a wonderful surprise for you."_

_The floor underneath the present hero started shaking, and a large metal wall started rising up from the ground separating the adults and other AIs from DT._

_DT tried to jump over it, but the wall was too tall now for him to do so. He started tackling, and scratching it, and doing all these crazy things from the ground since he wasn't flexible enough to do something amazing like jump between the walls and dive right through at the very last second, or try to strike some ninja moves and find _her_ to make her stop the wall. But, the truth was he wasn't very good at acrobatics at all._

_The wall had closed all the way now, and the kids and immature AIs weren't fast enough to make it to the exit in time. DT was extremely frustrated and angry now and roared, "DAMN IT!"_

_The voice on the speaker snickered, "Oh no…it seems your friends are all trapped in here. Well, at least now it seems it would be a great time to show you your 'surprise'." _

_A new, masculine voice came on and announced, "Neurotoxin emitters online. Preparing to emit neurotoxin."_

_A green gas spilled out from the walls from unseen parts of the concrete walls and the humans around him started coughing and choking. DT was so confused and his chassis felt like it was going to fall apart from all the tackling and running into concrete and other people from earlier._

"_Oh, and by the way," said the voice, "I planted a bomb inside you and all of your friends that will go off anytime soon…"_

_DT just kept cursing and hugging the children in the room with him._

"…_just so you know…"_

DT snapped back to reality and murmured, "I learned from experience…"

The man reached for the curled up wire that was still plugged into DT and ripped it out. This sudden movement would have startled DT before, but now he was too caught up in his memories to notice anything.

The man put the wire away and announced, "Well, that should do it! You can now walk wherever you'd like without catching on fire, exploding, or _both!_"

Then he stopped talking like he was listening to something, but weren't the only people in the room DT and the man? Then the man argued with…whoever, "Just because he's defective doesn't mean he can't do anything! Just look at what he did! THAT WAS A LEGIT FRONT-FLIP."

If DT had a throat he would have done the old "clear your throat to get their attention" trick, but he didn't, so he just started tapping his claw against some nearby metal, creating a loud clanging noise that _really_ got the man's attention. "Pardon…can I go now? I was sent on a journey by some turret and I need to be moving on."

He couldn't quite tell, but from what DT could make out it sounded like someone was strapping a box to something, and then the man declared, "I'm coming with you."

DT sighed and motioned for the man to follow, and asked, "Hey, what's your name anyways?"

"Doug…Now where are we going exactly, Mr. Defective Turret?"

DT winced, "Don't call me that…my name is DT…And, we're going to _her_ chamber."


	4. Not Totally Blind?

The new pair of "friends" have now been wandering around the facility for 2+ hours looking for _her_ chamber, and they're both getting pretty agitated. I mean, listen to this:

"Do you even know where you're _going?!_"

"N—Yes, I do. Just…it'll take a few more minutes—"

"YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THE PAST HOWEVER MANY HOURS IT'S BEEN!"

"ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME, PUNK!?"

"Uhh, YEAH. I AM. WHAT ARE _YOU GONNA DO, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH?!_"

"Okay, _that's it!_ GET OVER HERE—"

Y'see? Agitated. To the max. Anyways, DT's corrupted core still wasn't getting better, in fact it's actually gotten worse from all the extreme arguing, shaking up the core and…I guess you could say "psychologically shattering" it if it were living. I mean, how would _you_ like it if you were right next to some screaming people, say your parents, and you're pretty much stuck there listening to them and they were saying nasty things to each other? Yeah, that's what I thought.

His core was also growing more corrupted because of the foam that had shoved him backwards from earlier and was seeping into his coding. DT felt a quick snap shock him every now and then, but he was too vexed to notice most of them, in which case he couldn't get any treatment _for _the gradually growing debasement.

After a few swings of horrible insults and some deep scrapes and a dented chassis later, they tumbled into a room that made a faint hissing noise. Doug, DT's new partner, pulled himself up from the awkward position they were in and brushed himself off, glancing around the room before him. DT also got up and tried feeling the objects and walls, but nothing seemed familiar.

DT _did _come across something though, and when he did it burned like hell! He pulled his claw back, trying not to whimper and let Doug see how pained he was, and dared to open his eye. Well, THIS was totally out of his range. He could SEE, yes, SEE through the beam that had almost melted his claw off, and he squinted. He couldn't _possibly_ see anything through this mysterious light, but he truly could. He saw 3 white spherical robots lined up, and something like his target laser pointing directly at him, and one asked, "Who's there?"

Doug came over and took a deep breath, an attempt to calm himself down and keep from strangling his cold, metallic partner…again. He tapped his chassis and intelligently stated, "This is a Hard-Light Bridge, made from real sunlight which, indeed, can burn you if you touch it. Most turrets can't see through these, and for this fact, test subjects can use the bridges for protection against a turret's bullets. Watch closely."

Telling DT to "watch" was a silly thing to say to the blind AI, but as he stared into the illuminated blue beam, he saw a dark silhouette pass over it, probably Doug's. From what he knew his own purpose was supposed to be—to shoot and kill test subjects—it was odd that the turrets didn't fire at the sickly sounding man. They just stayed quiet and kept their target lasers pointing straight ahead, seemingly not paying any attention to anything else going on around them.

DT was getting impatient now, and interrupted the lesson, "HEY-O! This was a great time and all, and I _do_ like being able to see, I really do! But, can we GET A MOVE ON!?" He failed to keep his frustration out of his voice, which quite frightened him since he couldn't see Doug's face. If ya can't see his face, HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S PLANNING TO SMASH YOU TO BITS AGAIN!?

Thankfully, Doug _didn't_ try to turn him into smithereens and just stepped away from the Hard-Light Bridge, and in the process….picking up DT to carry him?

DT wriggled out of Doug's grasp and exclaimed, "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! _I_ am perfectly capable of walking around instead. I don't need to be carried around like a kid."

Doug snickered and smugly responded, "You can't see anything unless it's behind a light bridge. How are you supposed to be able to find yourself around the facility to find _her?_"

"Better question, why didn't figure that out 3 hours ago?"

"…Just let me take care of things. I know my way best around here."

They both didn't want to go any further into the conversation, knowing perfectly well that they would've started up another useless argument—and soon after—another violent hand-to-claw fight, so DT hopped onto Doug's shoulders and they moved on.


End file.
